Gracious Gratitude

 

                          

 

Today marks the date that spoke for the last time with two very special people, my mom and my nephew, Josh.  I learned of their passing in the wee hours of Thanksgiving, thirty years apart.

My beloved mom and my cherished nephew, are more alive now than ever—they just resides at a different address, separated by time and space. Moments like these defy any script; they were never meant to be part of the plan. The pain of great love is found in learning to let go.

Grief, hope, and joy are intertwined, a delicate tightrope we walk in search of balance. I’ve learned this deeply, especially in the quiet hours of Thanksgiving, a time now marked by profound loss and gracious gratitude.

Thirty two years ago, I said goodbye to my beloved mother, and two years ago, to my dear nephew, Josh. Back then, I wrestled with questions that challenged my faith: How can God be good if He allows such pain? Is this my fault? Can these hardships truly be gifts?

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds us that there is a season for everything under the sun, and how we navigate each season matters. I’m learning to embrace this truth, though I may not like it. Life is a broken-heart factory, yet it is also brimming with His glory. It’s only by holding both truths—the pain and the beauty—that we can let go and find joy.

The only way to grow through grief without becoming bitter is to cultivate habits that keep your heart soft. Gratitude is one of those habits. Giving thanks even in the hardest moments is how we protect our hearts and find joy again. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, though there were years when the feast felt more like a choice than a celebration.

Inside each of us is a hidden place where we bury our deepest tragedies. But in these darkest hours, I am learning profound truths: joy and hope can survive not because of our circumstances, but because of who God is.

• God is faithful, renewing His love and compassion every morning (Lamentations 3:23).
• God is a promise-keeper, always true to His Word (Psalm 145:13). His plans are eternally good, even if they look different from what we expect.
• God is our provider, meeting every need—emotional, physical, spiritual—because that’s who He is (Philippians 4:19).
• God is present, promising never to abandon us, even in life’s fiercest storms (Matthew 28:20).

The ultimate truth is that even amid life’s fiercest winds and waves, we can hold onto joy and hope because of who God is. This world, broken as it is, is not the end of the story.

We are born into a world marked by sin and mortality (Romans 5:12), our bodies fragile yet fearfully and wonderfully made. But the end is better than the beginning: a heavenly banquet with saints clothed in radiant robes, gathered around a table that stretches into eternity.

Before that day comes, though, there will be seasons of thorns and thistles, sweat and tears. There will also be moments of laughter, love, and grace. This chapter, no matter how dark, is not the final one. The Word, the Light, Love Himself, has already written the last line.

So, I will stay in His story, trusting that He can restore every broken heart. The next step on this tightrope of grief is always the same: walk forward with gratitude, eyes fixed on God.

And I look forward to the day when my mom and Josh can show me around his new home.

I was reminded of Sarah Edwards' poignant letter to her daughter, Esther, written after the passing of her husband, Jonathan Edwards.  It offers a profound glimpse into her faith and theology. It begins with these heartfelt words:

"My Very Dear Child,
What shall I say? A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. O that we may kiss the rod, and lay our hands on our mouths! The Lord has done it. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had him so long. But my God lives; and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband, and your father, has left us! We are all given to God, and there I am, and love to be.

Your ever affectionate mother,
Sarah Edwards.

---

The letter reflects Sarah's unwavering acknowledgment of God's holiness and goodness, even amid deep sorrow. Her words demonstrate a remarkable trust in God's sovereignty, as she accepts the "dark cloud" of her loss not with bitterness but with submission and gratitude. She does not begrudge God's will but embraces it, knowing that His purposes surpass human understanding.

"O that we may kiss the rod and lay our hands on our mouths"

This line, though unusual to modern readers, echoes several Biblical passages. It conveys a willingness to accept suffering as a form of God's discipline and mercy, inspired by verses like Psalm 119:71 ("It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes") and Job 40:4-5 ("I lay my hand on my mouth"). Sarah exemplifies a faith that trusts God's plans, even when they are shrouded in mystery.

"The Lord has done it"

Much like Job's declaration, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21), Sarah acknowledges God's ultimate authority over life and death. She recognized that Jonathan's life was part of God's divine plan and rested in the assurance that nothing occurs outside His control.

"He has made me adore his goodness, that we had him so long"

In this phrase, Sarah models gratitude in the face of loss. Rather than dwelling on her grief, she expresses thankfulness for the years she had with her husband. Her heart posture reflects the spirit of 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "Give thanks in all circumstances." This attitude is a striking reminder of the importance of focusing on God's blessings, even amid trials.

"But my God lives, and he has my heart"

 God had Sarah’s heart. Her full submission to God as her heavenly father circumvented any major crisis of faith. The depth of this statement demonstrates her devotion despite what it cost on a personal level. God had proved his faithfulness throughout her life. She knew his character. She trusted his promises. No matter what God brought into her life, Sarah could rest assured of God’s sovereign love for her. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). This verse does not imply that we will be without trials but reminds us of God’s faithfulness and intentionality toward us in those trials. We can trust our God.

"O what a legacy my husband, and your father, has left us! We are all given to God, and there I am, and love to be"

Here, Sarah reflects on Jonathan's enduring impact. She rejoices not only in his work and ministry but in the spiritual inheritance he left their family. Yet, above all, she delights in her relationship with God. Her words testify to her deep love for Christ, valuing Him above all earthly blessings. 

 Sarah Edwards' letter is a remarkable example of faith in the midst of suffering. It reveals her profound trust in God's sovereignty and her steadfast commitment to glorifying Him, even in the darkest moments. As she nurtured a deep love for God, she also passed on this legacy of faith to her children, reminding us to cherish God's goodness and trust His purposes. Her words inspire me to draw nearer to God, finding hope and strength in His unwavering love. Oh, to have the faith of Sarah Edwards.  The cloud was dark, almost black. But He is good and He is holy. That is the kind of faith I long for, gracious gratitude.